Don Inocencio Botijo Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 (edited) I would like to address the honourable gentlemen Captains of the British Navy to present you an issue that concerns me greatly: In recent dates, the Head of the Contoy Municipality and the Parish Priest have brought to my attention the serious environmental degradation freshly caused in the beaches and waters of Contoy by the sinking ships of the British Navy. The dozens of sunk ships that litter the coastline and adjacent waters have affected marine life and pose a threat to navigation. Fish catches have been reduced significantly, and the fishing communities along the coast are reporting the first cases of children malnourishment. The beaches of Contoy are littered with thousands of teapots, pornographic publications, empty beercans, umbrellas, bottles with strange condiments and other odd looking artefacts. Additionally, surviving sailors from the sunk ships, have engaged in antisocial behaviour in these communities, raising tensions with the local law abiding citizens, with their public displays of hooliganism, drunkenness, general disregard for the most basic rules of civility and hygiene, and frequent abhorrent acts of sodomy. This situation, gentlemen, is unacceptable. Your warlike intent against the King of Spain cannot affect the civilian population that should not be forced to suffer the consequences of your bellicose, imperialist greed. Taking into consideration the requests of the population of Contoy, I would like to demand from the British Captains to move their defeats somewhere else, and have their ships sunk in other ports of the Spanish Empire, where our gallant and dashing Spanish Captains will be happy to oblige your desire to suffer a glorious defeat, and be sunk in battle. I appeal to your humanity to alleviate the serious and critical situation of the population of Contoy. Additionally, I believe it is just to demand that the costs of the clean-up of this mess are born by the British Navy, and not the poverty stricken natives of Contoy. I believe that the amount of 15.000.000 gold pieces will suffice to finance this important decontamination effort and some charities to alleviate the misery you have cause in these poor souls. The Mayor and the Priest have sent me several pictures of the disaster, as evidence, to illustrate the magnitude of their problem, and support their plea. I give these pieces of evidence all the credibility: I am ready to act as a honest intermediary to manage the just and balanced compensation requested by the local authorities (minus a small management fee), please send the gold with haste to Havana. There is not a moment to loose, while the people of Contoy suffer. On a different, yet related, order of business, I would like to forward, from the Governor of Corrientes, a warning to the Dutch Captain that last Friday recklessly landed his Surprise on the beach of this city while trying to attack one of my brave and indomitable Captains of the Santa Hermandad. If he wants to recover his ship he should address the Corrientes Municipality, to pay the corresponding illegal parking fine, and other penalties for littering and delay interests. Here is a picture of the ship in question, for its captain to recognize.... Without any further business, I remain, gentlemen at your service. You have my blessings, in nomine Patri, et Filii, et Spiritu Sanctu, Amen. Edited September 12, 2016 by Don Inocencio Botillo 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hethwill Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alado Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 My dear and Reverend Lordship , I would ask the favor of the seabed of destroyed ships not clean . I want to create a tourism company based on guided visits to the seabed . Of course , we contribute to his holiness with the financial contributions necessary for the maintenance of the enormous work done by his eminence 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manuva85 Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CeltiberoCaesar Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Hahahahah its always a pleasure read your role play posts 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Frias Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 This issue has to be solved. Yesterday morning one of my merchant ships was sailing near Conttoy when it crashed with an heretic ship wreck and I lost all my opium shipment. My dad worked really hard for that opium. I want a compensation. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spud Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 The Royal Navy is handing out "We awfully regret what happened" stickers at KPR, feel free to come and pick up as many as needed to make your sadness go away. We wanted to make "We're sorry" stickers, but we feared being associated with the chaps from the SORRY clan... (Stickers made for 40% out of recycled materials). 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 HMS Deepwater Horizon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spud Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 If you do, don't forget about our trademark fees for using this expression. As the matter of fact, we kinda accidentaly printed a couple thousand of these "We're sorry" stickers, and I was kinda wondering if you guys would be interested? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hethwill Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 ... thing is that now I picked up a nice new personal quirk, which comes very handy in all situations of life including Naval Action, as I avoid to say the S. word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lytse Pier Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Your excellency, Lots of those wrecks seem to be of Spanish design, but still show British flags? What happened? If the Dutch Squadrons can assist with some towing and salvaging to relieve some of the burden, let us know. Lately we have become experts through experience for sure. Kind regards, Lytse Pier. Heer van de Reekenkamer, XIX. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Harwood Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 To the original poster. Sir, those wrecks are and shall remain the property of the British Crown along with all land under and adjacent to those wrecks that aren't actually wrecks but remain as interesting restoration projects with great potential. With these facts in mind please move your population away from our "projects" whilst we colonise the beach and wait for the next high tide to grab some more. Yours sincerely 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chijohnaok Posted September 15, 2016 Share Posted September 15, 2016 (edited) Shipwrecks sometimes contribute towards marine life......in fact, in the future, ships will sometimes be intentionally sunk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFU-g_1CVnk These wrecks can contribute towards marine life and also promote tourism: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKVBtMjHu9s I presume that you have nothing against "tourists" (some wearing colorful uniforms) from Great Britain, the VP and other nations "visiting" your ports, do you? Edited September 15, 2016 by Chijohnaok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Spud Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 If he drank all that, he's dead and won't be giving back anything I think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JollyRoger1516 Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 wrecks make for a great scuba diving mate - enjoy ... thing is that now I picked up a nice new personal quirk, which comes very handy in all situations of life including Naval Action, as I avoid to say the S. word. never apologize - it's a sign of weakness mate - in Naval Action even more so then in real lfie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeheil Posted September 16, 2016 Share Posted September 16, 2016 British tourist / sailor sleeping on the beach. This is unacceptable, I want you to give me back all my rum. :( Looks like he has just finished breakfast to me...and having lived amongst the locals for a few days is taking a quick siesta before heading off to Brunch. Nothing to see here move along. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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