Bad Naval History in Media (Fun)

[Fluffy Fishy]

I thought it would be nice to make a post to have a little bit of fun sharing some of the terrible moments from places like TV or film. We can poke fun at some of the more bizarre scenes or the utterly inaccurate, things like the more the awkward representations in things like Pirates of the Caribbean, Black Sails or Game of Thrones to name some of the most popular. Some of the amusing things that seem to be quite frequent are how paper thin the planking on ships are, or how easily 1 or 2 people can suddenly sail a square rigged warship.

What has made me think of this is that have been watching something called Taboo recently, its a historical fiction set in 1813, during the Napoleonic wars, the backstory seems to mostly revolve around the war of 1812, and the interactions between the American and British during this time. One of the main themes of the show is the presence of the American Blockade of the Irish sea, and how it is causing a strain on British trade interests in Ireland and the west coast of Britain, there is also quite a few references to the omnipotence of the East India Company, who seem more powerful than the Crown Authorities but the main thing that amuses me is the vast exaggeration of American Naval power and how it affects the narrative.

Below is the picture of the Naval blockade, the red crosses showing where the American squadrons are, the blue showing the Royal Navy. Assuming an equal spread those American squadrons are something around 3 ships each, mainly frigates, brigs and sloops, in comparison to the hugely powerful post Trafalgar British navy in their home waters. Maybe it was decided that the British public know enough history to vaguely recall that Nelson sank the Spanish and French fleet at Trafalgar but don't know enough to understand the American Fleet in 1813.

One of the other things that always stuck out to me was the ships in Assassins Creed Black Flag, especially the number of guns, but even more so the rams, underwater rams having fallen out of favour by around the 10th/11th Century, actually come to think of it the Jackdaw (the ship you own) is just a mess, after fully upgrading her she ends up as an ironclad brig, with 46 guns (+4 chasers), a large iron ram, a mortar and puckle guns replacing her swivels. Jackdaw is apparently fully capable of taking out not only large Man o' Wars but also naval fortifications on her own, to the point of if it were true, there would be no point in building them anyway . She looks like a mess, and would likely have just sunk if she was released onto the open sea. having never played AC Rogue it looks like the Morrigan is just as bad, if not worse, as is the ship from AC3 and Freedom Cry so well done ubisoft. Having done some quick googling, it turns out the Jackdaw has sunk by the time it comes to the game Freedom Cry, having been attributed to an epic battle, not her own weight.



Please share some of the ridiculous, amusing, or things that just annoy you, I'd love to see some more, hopefully you have enjoyed my petty niggles.

Edited February 13, 2017 by Fluffy Fishy

[Hethwill]

Although I am a great fan of the golden age of movies ( and by the Kraken give me old flicks rather than POTC ) this is a classic I always have a good giggle at. Not that is false but rather that isn't exactly true as the movie isn't depicting Lepanto

Edit: movie is Sea Hawk btw.

[Kloothommel]

What disturbs me most is fencing on board ships. I thought they used cutlasses since space was cramped?

[Hethwill]

Not more crammed than pike&shot formations clashing each other back in Europe  at the same time.

[_Masterviolin]

I've built nearly 60 ships of the Napoleonic era for a minecraft roleplay server- yes, go on, laugh xD It's fun stuff, and I've become really good at it. But every once in a while, I'll get a build contract from a player that goes something like this:

"Ship should have an iron ram, with mortars on the front."

"I want a giant stern cabin with at least 4 blocks (8 meters) or so of ceiling height"

"Can you make the stern cabin bigger?"

Those things piss me off soooooo much! I hate it when other builders just slap these giant "box sterns" with these giant, tall cabins jutting out of the hull. Rams interrupt the smooth lines of the ships and are illogical. You also can't just slap mortars on the bow of a ship.

I also agree entirely about the Jackdaw... I've hated that ship, and most the ships in AC4/3 for a long time. The spankers are always crammed on the upper part of the mizzen like awkward fans sticking out of the mast. The sterns are boxy and annoying. Jackdaw's got that ridiculous ram, way too many guns and is plain ridiculous. Ships of the line in-game have unusual hull lines and really weird spacing of the gunports. The only exception is the standard frigates, which don't have their hulls maimed by rams and the like.

Edited February 14, 2017 by _Masterviolin

[Angus McGregor]

1 hour ago, _Masterviolin said:

I've built nearly 60 ships of the Napoleonic era for a minecraft roleplay server- yes, go on, laugh xD It's fun stuff, and I've become really good at it. But every once in a while, I'll get a build contract from a player that goes something like this:

"Ship should have an iron ram, with mortars on the front."

"I want a giant stern cabin with at least 4 blocks (8 meters) or so of ceiling height"

"Can you make the stern cabin bigger?"

Those things piss me off soooooo much! I hate it when other builders just slap these giant "box sterns" with these giant, tall cabins jutting out of the hull. Rams interrupt the smooth lines of the ships and are illogical. You also can't just slap mortars on the bow of a ship.

I also agree entirely about the Jackdaw... I've hated that ship, and most the ships in AC4/3 for a long time. The spankers are always crammed on the upper part of the mizzen like awkward fans sticking out of the mast. The sterns are boxy and annoying. Jackdaw's got that ridiculous ram, way too many guns and is plain ridiculous. Ships of the line in-game have unusual hull lines and really weird spacing of the gunports. The only exception is the standard frigates, which don't have their hulls maimed by rams and the like.

Are those static ships, or did you use the Minecraft mod "Ships by Cuchaz" so you could actually sail them on the mirror smooth waters of Minecraftia? 

Unfortunately it only supports MC 1.7.10.

[_Masterviolin]

We have a plugin on our server called "Movecraft", which is originally designed for airships. But, I modified it to be used for ships heavily and now the vessels I build can be sailed around on the server  I had a nice battle in a 28-gun ship I built versus a pirate ship of equal armament and smaller size, and it was fun as we both maneuvered around using the plugin. It's laggy as hell if the server's bogged down, but its still really cool.

[Hethwill]

Ah ! I got 1 marine ! I win ( and probably the most odd choice for pirate captain wardrobe ever. The Black Pirate )

[XJ.]

Cannon fuses placed in hair for fighting effect haha!

 

That movie was called "Yellowbeard" a Monty Python / Cheech and Chong mash up from the early 80's

 

[PIerrick de Badas]

On 13/02/2017 at 10:27 PM, Fluffy Fishy said:

I thought it would be nice to make a post to have a little bit of fun sharing some of the terrible moments from places like TV or film. We can poke fun at some of the more bizarre scenes or the utterly inaccurate, things like the more the awkward representations in things like Pirates of the Caribbean, Black Sails or Game of Thrones to name some of the most popular. Some of the amusing things that seem to be quite frequent are how paper thin the planking on ships are, or how easily 1 or 2 people can suddenly sail a square rigged warship.

What has made me think of this is that have been watching something called Taboo recently, its a historical fiction set in 1813, during the Napoleonic wars, the backstory seems to mostly revolve around the war of 1812, and the interactions between the American and British during this time. One of the main themes of the show is the presence of the American Blockade of the Irish sea, and how it is causing a strain on British trade interests in Ireland and the west coast of Britain, there is also quite a few references to the omnipotence of the East India Company, who seem more powerful than the Crown Authorities but the main thing that amuses me is the vast exaggeration of American Naval power and how it affects the narrative.

Below is the picture of the Naval blockade, the red crosses showing where the American squadrons are, the blue showing the Royal Navy. Assuming an equal spread those American squadrons are something around 3 ships each, mainly frigates, brigs and sloops, in comparison to the hugely powerful post Trafalgar British navy in their home waters. Maybe it was decided that the British public know enough history to vaguely recall that Nelson sank the Spanish and French fleet at Trafalgar but don't know enough to understand the American Fleet in 1813.

One of the other things that always stuck out to me was the ships in Assassins Creed Black Flag, especially the number of guns, but even more so the rams, underwater rams having fallen out of favour by around the 10th/11th Century, actually come to think of it the Jackdaw (the ship you own) is just a mess, after fully upgrading her she ends up as an ironclad brig, with 46 guns (+4 chasers), a large iron ram, a mortar and puckle guns replacing her swivels. Jackdaw is apparently fully capable of taking out not only large Man o' Wars but also naval fortifications on her own, to the point of if it were true, there would be no point in building them anyway . She looks like a mess, and would likely have just sunk if she was released onto the open sea. having never played AC Rogue it looks like the Morrigan is just as bad, if not worse, as is the ship from AC3 and Freedom Cry so well done ubisoft. Having done some quick googling, it turns out the Jackdaw has sunk by the time it comes to the game Freedom Cry, having been attributed to an epic battle, not her own weight.



Please share some of the ridiculous, amusing, or things that just annoy you, I'd love to see some more, hopefully you have enjoyed my petty niggles.

The raming sails ship exist. You can see some on the French naval museum on paris trocadero. Sadly the musuem is closed to be rebuild but i've seen for sure at least 5 model of this kind of ships. They are dating around 1840-1850 and are in iron armor. They are the first sails/coal ships.

I may have photo if you want them