Hethwill Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 Ample volumes... Will have to remember that one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allons! Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 How do you excommunicate a Protestant? His Holiness is well beyond secundum vaticanum. Greetz, Allons! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Inocencio Botijo Posted June 13, 2016 Author Share Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) It is with great comfort to this captain that news were received of two former Mojito nuns were rescued from the yoke of the Papists. Actually it was an amazement for the crew, which I had to deal with given some of them retained old Navy superstitions, that the ladies offered no resistance to the seductive power of unwashed freebooter captain. Upon safe return to the haven they were presented to the Pirate Jesus Charity and them nuns were wondered that they could continue their mercy work, tending to the orphans while having access to other less merciful pleasures. They were never harassed nor dispossessed of their belongings including a roman catholic bible ( yarr ! a black book ! ) and crucifixes. Surprisingly them ladies left the habits on the shore and took some nice tight leather leggings and loose linen shirts which let them womanhood bouncy bouncies be more appreciated by the world. Blessed be Pirate Jesus that free us all from the yoke of servitude and grant us the way to shiny shiny paradise. Ooohhh, Captain Hethwill!!!! I cannot hold it any longer!!! We have laughed so hard in Havana, at your expense!!! But I shall not, in good conscience, allow this to continue. I have to make a confession: What you think are two Little Sisters of the Holy Mojito, called Sister Lola and sister Bibiana are, in fact two British sodomites that had set up their repugnant trade in a cabaret in Havana, disguised as women. We caught them during one of our Inquisition raids, and I though It would be funny to play this little practical joke on you. We faked an escape and presented your drunk deviant sailors with the opportunity to carry out the "rescue". This is what you got: And this is what the real Little sisters of the Holy Mojito look like. Forgive the light clothing, but t´s so hot in Havana that I have given them a special exemption to make their lives more bearable. The fact that you have not yet spotted the difference, shines a revealing light on the true nature of your preferences, and those of your crew as well. So, feel free to continue enjoying the pleasures provided by Sisters Bibiana and Lola, we will continue laughing here in Havana for a very, very long time. Edited June 13, 2016 by Don Inocencio Botillo 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Brave Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Hey Don, you old fat bottomed papist pickpocket. To be honest, I have my doubts that these are images of the real Little sisters of the Holy Mojito. They are more the outcome of your wet dreams, because if they were real, I really won't understand why you and your fat papist inquisitors prefer Big Bottom Bellinda, Hook Nosed Elvira, Squinting Carmen or Moustache Miranda. Unfortunately I don't have a picture of your favourite One-Legged-Maria. The painter told me that she's too fat to get a full image of her on a canvas. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Inocencio Botijo Posted June 13, 2016 Author Share Posted June 13, 2016 Hey Don, you old fat bottomed papist pickpocket. To be honest, I have my doubts that these are images of the real Little sisters of the Holy Mojito. They are more the outcome of your wet dreams, because if they were real, I really won't understand why you and your fat papist inquisitors prefer Big Bottom Bellinda, Hook Nosed Elvira, Squinting Carmen or Moustache Miranda. Unfortunately I don't have a picture of your favourite One-Legged-Maria. The painter told me that she's too fat to get a full image of her on a canvas. There you go again, with your obsessions. Thank you for the pictures of your daughters, real nice specmens of Dutch beauty. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Brave Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 There you go again, with your obsessions. Thank you for the pictures of your daughters, real nice specmens of Dutch beauty. Ha, Don, you make me laugh. But now I understand, the reason why you don't recognize your favourite girls is that you're always totally drunk. This explains why - you don't remember those "beauties", - you confuse them with the little sisters of the Holy Mojito, - you are not able to satisfy them, - you are telling them all the secrets of your War- and Traders-Fleet and - you're still willing to pay them. To much Rum, old chap, makes your brain look like British "Spotted Dick". Now it's sure that you're already in an alcohol delirium, and that finally explains your ridiculous Excommunication Decree as well as this ludicrous idea of a new military order. Therefore I can't blame you to be so dump in the meanwhile that you're not able to remember that our lieve hollandse meisjes always have blond hair. Instead I'll spend some Gulden for your nightly visits to One-Legged-Maria. It's probably the only good thing that happens in your poor life. I'm looking forward to meet you in hell some day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Inocencio Botijo Posted June 13, 2016 Author Share Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) Ha, Don, you make me laugh. But now I understand, the reason why you don't recognize your favourite girls is that you're always totally drunk. This explains why - you don't remember those "beauties", - you confuse them with the little sisters of the Holy Mojito, - you are not able to satisfy them, - you are telling them all the secrets of your War- and Traders-Fleet and - you're still willing to pay them. To much Rum, old chap, makes your brain look like British "Spotted Dick". Now it's sure that you're already in an alcohol delirium, and that finally explains your ridiculous Excommunication Decree as well as this ludicrous idea of a new military order. Therefore I can't blame you to be so dump in the meanwhile that you're not able to remember that our lieve hollandse meisjes always have blond hair. Instead I'll spend some Gulden for your nightly visits to One-Legged-Maria. It's probably the only good thing that happens in your poor life. I'm looking forward to meet you in hell some day. Make love, dick Brave, not war Edited June 14, 2016 by Don Inocencio Botillo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Brave Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 You dirty shopkeeper with your dirty mind and your dirty Guilden. Resoring to personal insults. You do not make me laugh, I pity you for your lack of imagination, basic intelligence and style. This is what happens when Dutch try to be funny. I'm sorry for you. I will pray for your black, grredy soul. Now that was expected. Guess what an alcoholic answers if you ask him wether he's an alcoholic or not. It looks like I hit a nerve. And please, don't pray for me. After all Satan could come to the most likely conclusion that you are the bigger sinner, decide to do you a favour and send me to heaven after all. That would be a pity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Inocencio Botijo Posted June 13, 2016 Author Share Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) Now that was expected. Guess what an alcoholic answers if you ask him wether he's an alcoholic or not. It looks like I hit a nerve. And please, don't pray for me. After all Satan could come to the most likely conclusion that you are the bigger sinner, decide to do you a favour and send me to heaven after all. That would be a pityh I will pray for you nontheless, For you and your ugly daughters, so they may find proper Dutch husbands, and they may give you lots of Grandaughters as ugly as their Grandfather. Edited June 13, 2016 by Don Inocencio Botillo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Brave Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 I will pray for you nontheless, For you and your ugly daughters, so they may find proper Dutch husbands, and they may give you lots of Grandaughters as ugly as their Grandfather. No matter how hard you try, old fat bottomed papist alcoholic pickpocket, you won't hit me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Sancho Navarro Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) No matter how hard you try, old fat bottomed papist alcoholic pickpocket, you won't hit me His holyness is not fat, just strongly built. Edited June 13, 2016 by Don Sancho Navarro 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Inocencio Botijo Posted June 13, 2016 Author Share Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) No matter how hard you try, old fat bottomed papist alcoholic pickpocket, you won't hit me Make love, not war, Dick brave. (EDITED) Edited June 14, 2016 by Don Inocencio Botillo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Brave Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 The same here, you impious, greedy heretic, foul mouthed pennypincher shopkeeper. God inspires me. Satan and his minister Luther inspire you. Haha, I must admit, you won the battle of foul language by far. I just wonder what that tells about you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Sancho Navarro Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 (edited) ×D Edited June 14, 2016 by Don Sancho Navarro 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Inocencio Botijo Posted June 14, 2016 Author Share Posted June 14, 2016 Haha, I must admit, you won the battle of foul language by far. I just wonder what that tells about you Blessings, my son.☺ It is good you admit your defeat. Humbleness and pursuit of truth are the first steps to embrace the Cross and the Catholic Church. I still have hopes to save your soul, despite your worrying obsession with mutilated and obese women. Blessings, my son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Brave Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 (edited) ... Blessings, my son.☺ It is good you admit your defeat. ... This is, and surely will be, your greatest but only success. And I can generously grant it to you since the Dutch Navy will kick Spanish butts wherever and whenever so hard that they will fly all the way back to that ugly withered country full of fat papist pickpockets you call "home" (In other words: Spain - just wanted to make sure that your alcohol befogged brain understand). ... Humbleness and pursuit of truth are the first steps to embrace the Cross and the Catholic Church. ... Ah, no please, I pass on that. I prefer to stay honest. ... I still have hopes to save your soul, despite your worrying obsession with mutilated and obese women. ... Jaja, Alcoholic delirium always makes your mind that foggy, I know. You have my pity. Btw: I've heard that Moustache Miranda is your new favourite. You really like that masculine touch, don't you? Edited June 14, 2016 by Dick Brave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Inocencio Botijo Posted June 14, 2016 Author Share Posted June 14, 2016 This is, and surely will be, your greatest but only success. And I can generously grant it to you since the Dutch Navy will kick Spanish butts wherever and whenever so hard that they will fly all the way back to that ugly withered country full of fat papist pickpockets you call "home" (In other words: Spain - just wanted to make sure that your alcohol befogged brain understand). Ah, no please, I pass on that. I prefer to stay honest. Jaja, Alcoholic delirium always makes your mind that foggy, I know. You have my pity. Btw: I've heard that Moustache Miranda is your new favourite. You really like that masculine touch, don't you? Dick, you are a miscarried sheep that I have taken upon myself to bring back to the flock of the true and only faith. You can continue your grotesque personal attacks, it only makes me love you more, because I see how deep in the abyss of hatred and depravity, your false cult for money and Lutheran lies has taken you. It is with great sadness that I see now my mistake in not realizing sooner the torment of your soul, that expresses itself in your abhorrent words. The cloud of hate that blinds you and prevents the gospel of Christ from entering your hardened, black soul. Mea culpa my son. I will try to bring some joy to your miserable penny counting Dutch life by publishing a special edition of photos of some of my dear daughters, the Little Sisters of the Holy Mojito. I hope the pictures will help you see again the wonders of creation that are the expression of our Lords love for all humanity. Especially for lost and confused souls like yours. Bless you, my son. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Brave Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Dick, you are a miscarried sheep that I have taken upon myself to bring back to the flock of the true and only faith. You can continue your grotesque personal attacks, it only makes me love you more... Ok, I already suspected that you're a sodomist. That explains your preference for Moustache Miranda. Now, anyway. If you're into it, go on. You know, we Dutch people are most liberal. But I doubt that I'm of your flavour since I'm tall, blond and handsome. Not to forget my long nose. Obviously far away from what you prefer: fat, short papist inquisitor priests with greasy black hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cpt Blackthorne Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 OHMYWORD!!! Y'all make me laugh! This is awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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