Don Inocencio Botijo Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Ego, Inocencio Botijo, Metropolitan Bishop of La Havana, in use of the faculties extended to us by the Holy Catholic Roman Church, under the principle of Impedito casus papalis fit episcopalis, deplore the unlawful abuses and offences recently committed by pirates and corsairs of the English, American and Dutch nations on the coasts of Cuba, declare the penalty of excommunication to all those members of the Catholic Church, committing such vile violations of the ius ad bellum and ius in bello, repugnant to all civilized nations and contrary to the peaceful intent of his most Catholic Majesty the King of Spain. All captains, officials, crew members, suppliers of war materials, provisions or supporters of any nature of these abominable acts, inspired by greed, demonic influence and heretic deviations, shall be excluded from the holy communion, and all participation in the common blessings of the Holy Catholic Church, including Res Sacrae, Ritus, Communio, Crypta, Potestas, Praedia sacra, Forum et Civilia juror. This general excommunication ferendae sententiae in foro externo shall be applied ab jure et ad homine, and is complementary to the penalties established by the laws and decrees of his most Catholic Majesty the King of Spain, which will be administered by the civilian and military authorities of La Havana, to those captured committing attacks against the ships of His Majesty, or any other act of maleficence, or sins against humanity itself, in Cuban and adjacent waters. May God confound the unholy minds and hearts of the enemies of our Catholic King, and inspire with its holy wrath the brave and impetuous Captains and sailors of his naval forces. Don Inocencio Botijo, Metropolitan Bishop of La Havana 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Preserved_Killick Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church? Oh dear me. Bahahahaha! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hethwill Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Good RP. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vernon Merrill Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 (edited) I dearly hope it was not my actions that caused this.... LOL. I was caught north of Havana in my nice Connie trying to link up with my mates and chased like a dog by a mixed group.. (and damn that new Rattlesnake, I would have gotten away, too....grrrr) When I told them to heave to and prepare their papers for inspection, I was told that I would be forced to embrace the cross. As I answered that I was already Catholic, I expected a perfunctory inspection and that we would be each on our merry ways. Apparently, insted, we've all been excommunicated... Deary me. EDIT: Big salute to whoever was sailing that Rattlesnake... he was a damn good gunner. Edited June 6, 2016 by Vernon Merrill 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Potemkin Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Lmfao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryButpain Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 ARR!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrapeShot Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Silly papist. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean Ribault Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Hmm, another holy war. Hope you are prepared for those mass exports of voodoo dolls from Cuba, all bearing likenesses of your sea captains, lol. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maturin Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 How do you excommunicate a Protestant? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vernon Merrill Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 They've already "Self-excommunicated"... ;-) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halsey74 Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 How do you excommunicate a Protestant? We use the inquisitor's bonfire.... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archer11 Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 I'd be really careful and rather keep silent, because... Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lytse Pier Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 I wholeheartedly agree. Now about that business proposal. This silver we obtained recently needs a new owner and we were thinking you guys might be the best party to trade with, shall we say we will do this like last time when... blablablablabla .... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whynotfr Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 (edited) France empire will provide ship for the papal troops and juge. Edited June 6, 2016 by whynotfr 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pietjenoob Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 (edited) Well we, as a protestant trading nation, will, shall and keep doing business with the Catholic spanjeerds rulers so we keep our ships in yours waters as long the traderoute from Willemstad, Havana and Den Briel is still profitable. Merchant Pietjenoob and many more Edited June 7, 2016 by pietjenoob 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Inocencio Botijo Posted June 7, 2016 Author Share Posted June 7, 2016 (edited) I dearly hope it was not my actions that caused this.... LOL. I was caught north of Havana in my nice Connie trying to link up with my mates and chased like a dog by a mixed group.. (and damn that new Rattlesnake, I would have gotten away, too....grrrr) When I told them to heave to and prepare their papers for inspection, I was told that I would be forced to embrace the cross. As I answered that I was already Catholic, I expected a perfunctory inspection and that we would be each on our merry ways. Apparently, insted, we've all been excommunicated... Deary me. EDIT: Big salute to whoever was sailing that Rattlesnake... he was a damn good gunner. Dear sons. In the evangelical spirit that characterizes the missionary zeal of the Catholic Church I will try, to the best of my limited ability, to enlighten your dirty, pagan, ungodly and impious souls. - This decree does not apply to the followers of the heretic sects promoted by Luther, Calvin, or the luscious so called king Henry VIII. If you are a member of these cults, then you are super-damned to hell and eternal suffering already, so there is nothing I can do to make things worse. God has already excluded you from his flock. My prayers will be with you, however, so the cannons our our Catholic King, send you to the bottom of the ocean with haste, end your miserable life, and accelerate your passing to where you belong: the burning infernos of your lord, Lucifer. - This decree applies only to the baptised members of the Catholic Church, that may (or may not) care a little bit for the salvation of their souls and what His Holiness the Pope thinks about their vile acts of aggression. People like Captain Merrill, here. Who may have a misplaced sense of duty, and foolhardily attack Catholic brothers with misguided good intentions, ignorant of his duties as a good Catholic under the Ius in Bello. Finally, I would like to address our son, Captain Merrill. Dear son, my brother. Yes. I was informed by the captains that intercepted you. They came to me, seeking spiritual guidance, after learning that they had sunk a catholic Captain, thinking that they were fighting a holy battle against demonic and heretic enemies of the Cross. Pirates these days do not necessarily carry the infamous black flag. British, American and Dutch captains commit daily heinous acts of piracy dishonouring their own flags. Just like you did. The Captains of His Catholic Majesty that hunted you were appalled and confused by your claim of belonging to the one and only Church. They also told me that you and your crew fought with honour and bravery. My advice is that, if you care for your soul, you desist your attacks of the Spanish Captains, and devote your talent and bravery to combat the pirate menace, or those pompous, arrogant British whose only gods are gold, brute force, and lascivious acts contra natura. But God gave you freedom of will to do what is right. If you really are a Catholic, then you know what is right. The doors of the Holy Mother Church will always be open to take you back but, if you insist on your sinful acts, our Spanish Captains will hunt you relentlessly, and once you are captured, hang you from the highest mast, to make an example, so you can join your fellow pagan, heretic and atheist fellows in a wet, humid and lugubrious corner of hell specially reserved for pirates. God be with you. Amen. Well we, as a protestant trading nation, will, shall and keep doing business with the Catholic spanjeerds rulers so we keep our ships in yours waters as long the traderoute from Willemstad, Havana and Den Briel is still profitable. Merchant Pietjenoob and many more Pietjenoob you heretic, greedy Dutch parasite. Burning heretics has come out of fashion, unfortunately. It´s too hot in Havana to make big fires. But we might make an exception if we catch you. We will recover the old manual from the Spanish Inquisition and apply it to deal with your deviations. Take another route to carry your stinking trade, away from Catholic waters if you don´t want to smell your own flesh roasting before descending to hell to keep company with Lucifer and Luther. Edited June 7, 2016 by Don Inocencio Botillo 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hethwill Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 Need more flagellants !!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Brave Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 (edited) I must admit, I'm somewhat amused. Now, during the Eighty-Years-War we finally kicked Spanish butts all the way down from Amsterdam to Madrid and I'm more than confident, that we are able to repeat this whenever and wherever. Spanish Inquisition? Those fat papist priests got seasick and try to puke windwards. They prefer to stay in One-Legged-Maria's chamber in Havana. No, I'm not afraid of them. Edited June 7, 2016 by Dick Brave 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Inocencio Botijo Posted June 7, 2016 Author Share Posted June 7, 2016 I must admit, I'm somewhat amused. Now, during the Eighty-Years-War we finally kicked Spanish butts all the way down from Amsterdam to Madrid and I'm more than confident, that we are able to repeat this whenever and wherever. Spanish Inquisition? Those fat papist priests got seasick and try to puke windwards. They prefer to stay in One-Legged-Maria's chamber in Havana. No, I'm not afraid of them. Dick brave. You think you "kicked Spanish butts". The fact that you had to do it during the course of eighty years should make you less confident. If you read a little bit of history, you will see it was the Spanish Tercios, kicking your butts most of the time, and France and England had to come to your aid before your apostate princes could claim victory, and your puny country became the nest of greedy shopkeepers it is now. And no, look at the map, you never made it all the way down to Madrid. So it will be difficult to repeat it if you never made it. As for the personal nature of your offences. I will leave them without reply, since your words only betray your true nature. By the way. One personal question. Is Dick Brave your name, or a reference to some part of your anatomy? Tell me what you boast about and I will tell you what you lack. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bougainville Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 Fire the canonical cannons! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hethwill Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 Fire the canonical cannons! Fire the canonical cannons cannonade ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pietjenoob Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 Pietjenoob you heretic, greedy Dutch parasite. Burning heretics has come out of fashion, unfortunately. It´s too hot in Havana to make big fires. But we might make an exception if we catch you. We will recover the old manual from the Spanish Inquisition and apply it to deal with your deviations. Take another route to carry your stinking trade, away from Catholic waters if you don´t want to smell your own flesh roasting before descending to hell to keep company with Lucifer and Luther. Dear Don Inocencio Botillo, The manual of the old days should be perfect of the reasons since I have read the manual of old multiple times so I can sail safely in your waters without problems. I have seen during my journees more heretics then you can ever try to convert. The ships I use have a special treatment so the can survive longer in most conditions. The Bible I carry is the protestant, but i cannot lie about my descendent so i always carry a pocket catholic bible with me use them on special occasions. Even though you want me to convert and try to kill the heretic in me you will fail because faith is stronger then the manuals of old. And the traderoutes are still are getting more profitable the more heretics you try to hand or burn. Merchant Pietjenoob of the Vereenigde Provinciën Companie DAS 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeekoning Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 (edited) May God confound the unholy minds and hearts It looks like He already has. Edited June 7, 2016 by Zeekoning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praefect Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 What the spaniards think what the pope is thinking about them: What the pope is really thinking about them: How the dutch see the pope: 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Brave Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 Dick brave. You think you "kicked Spanish butts". The fact that you had to do it during the course of eighty years should make you less confident. If you read a little bit of history, you will see it was the Spanish Tercios, kicking your butts most of the time, and France and England had to come to your aid before your apostate princes could claim victory, and your puny country became the nest of greedy shopkeepers it is now. ... Yeah, I guess, that's why your papist King was so eager and grateful to accept the independence of the Dutch Republic in the Peace of Westphalia. Now, if the great catholic kingdom of Spain, the empire where the Sun never goes down, one of the most powerful and wealthiest countries of this time, is not able to defeat a small country like the Seventeen Provinces within 80 years and finally has to accept a declaration of independence and a hardly aspired peace, I wouldn't call that a success if I were you. But for one thing you are right, we never made it down to Madrid. We didn't need to because we kicked your fat Spanish butts so hard that you flew all the way back. And now, go for One-Legged-Maria. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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