Don Inocencio Botijo

Dear Mr. Reb: I heard of your "successful" voyage off the coast of Cuba, where you were hunted and sunk several times by the naval forces of his Catholic Majesty, the King of Spain. Please, be advised that, in the event of your capture, Civilian authorities, the Santa Hermandad, and my Inquisition officers, have orders to bring you to the Episcopal Palace for an interrogation and conversion session. I will personally introduce you the latest technology freshly arrived from Toledo, where some creative and laborious artisans are refining for me the art of motivating people like you, with new ingenious inventions. Whomever captures you will be allowed to spend a week in the company of the Little Sisters of the Holy Mojito, inside their convent in Havana. I´m afraid you have misinterpreted my post, since I´m not aware of any Spanish Captains running and hiding under my robes. Undoubtedly, some captains have made a tactical withdrawal from your ships, that only attack when enjoying the advantage of greater numbers and fire power, and try to escape themselves when confronted by an equal force. If you ever see a Spanish Navy Captain running, it will be to reach port, grab a bigger ship and rush to confront you in equal terms. The Santa Hermandad is just another sign of the determination of the Spanish Nation to defend ourselves and face any nation, faction of clan trying to force themselves upon us. The fact that the Santa Hermandad is a creation of the Metropolitan Archbishop gives them an additional sacred backing, which includes the abundant resources made available to me by the tireless efforts of my inquisitors, the local indians, and the pastry production of the Little Sisters of the Holy Mojito. The Captains of the Santa Hermandad complement, therefore, their holy zeal to fight the enemies of the King, and all sorts of floating heretics sailing around, with the best and latest in shipbuilding, protection and artillery. If you are ever curious of what is under my robes, you are welcome to try to find out, but I must warn you against it, since it is a very dangerous weapon, powerful both in its size, endurance and range, that has marvelled and caused the conversion to the True Faith of many heretic, Indian and Moorish daughters of God. As for the accompaniment of the Little sisters you request, it is granted. The Little Sisters of the Holy Mojjito will accompany your mortal remains to be buried after I´m finished teaching you, in the basement of the Episcopal Palace, how to respect my King and Church, and your conversion and salvation process are complete. Forgive my bluntness, but I´m not on a good mood today. Some Indians have escaped from the Archbishopric Plantations, and they are proving hard to find.

True, I confused your nationality, mea culpa again. But let me remind you that historical references are a bit out of order...

Indeed. I´m hoping they will get bored so I can go on fighting the enemies of our Catholic King from this wonderful pulpit.

Vernon. It is I that decide what is a sin. I don´t go into how well you handle you sorry sloop, so do not try to give me theology lessons. A sin is whatever I say is a sin, and a sinner, like you, is whomever I say is a sinner. That Is why I am the Archbishop of Havana. I will not pray 10 Hail Marys, I will pray 100 for your soul, accompanied by the Little Sisters.

Hehe, very funny. Read your own story. If Spain was a puppet, then what was Holland? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_of_Holland At least we fought the French and kicked them out of the Peninsula. But let me remind you that historical references are a bit out of order... this is not a historical game, or a historical map. This is roleplaying, and I hope you can understand the difference.

It must be entertaining to you, but quite boring to me, and I´m sure, some of our readers... you keep on using the same lines, and the same insults, denoting your lack of imagination and mediocrity. So, in the hope of boring you too, and ending this unending iteration of insults, your dull posts will not be replied until you come up with something more imaginative other than One legged maria, the fat ladies, the fat alcoholic papist pickpockets etcetera, and stop mixing your real life with roleplaying. There, suit yourself.

Make love, not war, Dick Brave (EDITED)

Dick, you are a miscarried sheep that I have taken upon myself to bring back to the flock of the true and only faith. You can continue your grotesque personal attacks, it only makes me love you more, because I see how deep in the abyss of hatred and depravity, your false cult for money and Lutheran lies has taken you. It is with great sadness that I see now my mistake in not realizing sooner the torment of your soul, that expresses itself in your abhorrent words. The cloud of hate that blinds you and prevents the gospel of Christ from entering your hardened, black soul. Mea culpa my son. I will try to bring some joy to your miserable penny counting Dutch life by publishing a special edition of photos of some of my dear daughters, the Little Sisters of the Holy Mojito. I hope the pictures will help you see again the wonders of creation that are the expression of our Lords love for all humanity. Especially for lost and confused souls like yours. Bless you, my son.

Dear Nic. I have been trained to combat all kinds of heresy and deviant cults. I'm familiar with all their superstitions, lies, blasphemies, and theological errors. I have been graduated in Theology at the Sevilla University and spent 20 years chasing Lutherans and rebellious princes in our Kings possessions in the Netherlands. Believe me, I know how a protestant sounds, and you make no sense even to the most inconsistent of the inconsistent protestants.

Blessings, my son.☺ It is good you admit your defeat. Humbleness and pursuit of truth are the first steps to embrace the Cross and the Catholic Church. I still have hopes to save your soul, despite your worrying obsession with mutilated and obese women. Blessings, my son.

Make love, not war, Dick brave. (EDITED)

I will pray for you nontheless, For you and your ugly daughters, so they may find proper Dutch husbands, and they may give you lots of Grandaughters as ugly as their Grandfather.

Make love, dick Brave, not war

There you go again, with your obsessions. Thank you for the pictures of your daughters, real nice specmens of Dutch beauty.

No, my dear Vernon, we will not attack pirates, we will attack anglo-american pirates until you stop showing up around Havana, and the rat hole of Key West is fully sanitized and exorcized.