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On The Quartdeck of an NPC

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I have often wondered just what the conversation on the quarterdecks of the NPC would sound like...


1st Mate; Captain, the enemy approaches..

Captain; Aye, bring her to windward and let loose a volley.

1st mate; But captain we are out of range.

Captain; Damn you, just do as I order.

1st Mate; Aya aye...Captain the human ship is coming up our starboard side.

Captain; Well then turn into him, he'll never expect that.

1st mate; No, I imagine he wouldn't being on our team and all. I would like to point out, that maneuver will place his ship between our cannons and the enemy.

Captain; Then our gunnery should be tip top as I expect them to shoot through the humans ship and hit the enemy ship on the other side.

1st Mate; Ahhhh, I'm thinking that isn't going to be possible...

Captain; Damn you, you insolent dog, whos the captain here?

1st Mate; (sigh) You are Captain. Fire!

Captain; Good, now T bone the humans ship, then bring her into the wind and drop sails.

1st Mate; Ahhh...aye aye Captain.

Captain; Can we board him?

1st Mate; He's on our team sir.

Captain; He is?

1st Mate; Yes, he's flying the same colors as we are...look.

Captain; By God your right...that changes everything. Fire another broadside into him, then find an enemy ship we can sail next to, that will take us as far

away from his assistance as possible.

1st Mate; Up-wind?

Captain; Aye and make sure we present our weakest side to him. I don't want another victory like the one we had in the last battle.

1st mate; Got it...up-wind...as far away as possible...assure being sunk... Just a fine point sir, we do want to do just enough damage so the human won't get credit for the kill, right?

Captain; My God man don't state the obvious...Oh and signal one of the other allied NPC's to get in that bloody circle.

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1 hour ago, JobaSet said:

Damn you man. I damn you to hell.

Satire so good it makes you mad!


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