The Boneless

ROFL I like you, Slim. Nothing better than seeing the elitist nation-building players who ruin this game get schooled and laughed at by the very people they think they are superior to. They may take some internet pixels from you later (for your own good of course - they didn't actually WANT to) with a swarm of first rates, but I think your words are doing actual damage to their fragile little egos. That is called winning the REAL game. Well played, sir.

Texas - I don't have a dog in this fight and I don't know either of you personally, but he made some pretty solid points above and you failed to address a single one in a three-paragraph reply. You are doing the very thing in your reply that he is complaining about in the points he made while simultaneously failing to address them. I'd genuinely like to see that conversation play out. That said, I enjoy reading your point of view. You make a lot of sense but the control-everything nation-building to save everyone who doesn't know any better is getting old. And the dropping numbers don't lie. Are you making the case that what you are advocating has been good for Naval Action?

Well, I can say I sure feel like a winner every time Slamz has been in Danish waters. It just feels like whenever he wins, which is all the time, we all win a little. He is both the yin and the yang of Naval Action. We're all getting what we say we want!

A post without mentioning Slamz is quite frankly not even a post worth reading.

This thread should be changed to "A Letter to Slamz the PVP King."

If you had been Slamz, they would have just surrendered, thanked you for schooling them in PVP, and then apologized for troubling you in the first place. THAT takes skill.

On to the 4th page! Seriously, thank you Vernon for doing your part to fill Slamz' post with so much meaningless gibberish that it becomes the most viewed post on Naval Action. Once Vllad and Barbancourt get back from eating crayons and trying to be awesome, please pass my thanks to them as well. With the help of lesser-pvpers like yourselves we can definitely make this happen. Slamz has done so much for the Naval Action community as I'm sure you'll agree, and I can't think of a more fitting shrine to his greatness than a ton of pages filled with absolute rubbish. This is the least we can do for him. In fact, I was in the middle of my prayers to Slamz in between my poor attempts at PVP last night, and I was thinking - if we could just throw some more meme's up here I bet we could draw this post out further in a less amount of time. They are larger and cover more space on the page. Plus there is the added benefit of you not actually having to generate a cogent argument or use your brain and the page just looking more colorful. Less head pain - more color! What say you? Shall we progress to page 5 together? For Slamz? P.S. Shoutout to PURGE for sailing that Bellona all the way to Christianstead and then handing it over last night. I'll bet you can guess who I INSISTED we name it after?

It wasn't my signature - it was the reason for my edit. Remember, ports don't matter! OW PVP is Naval Action! Cute pictures. You know what they say - "If you're taking flak, you must be over the target."

Wow... the man, the myth, the legend graces the unwashed hordes with his presence and wisdom. Can you really blame those poor "fodderous" fleet ships, though? They are obviously so starstruck by having the great one, himself, direct them to "shoot the hull with cannonballs" that they probably just get overexcited and screw up the commands. I feel the exact same way when you're around, and I've never been able to defeat even an NPC ship in game, so I know what I'm talking about. In fact, that was the main reason ICS didn't get into your Teamspeak the night you left us hanging in that fleet battle. If I had so much as heard your real voice telling us in person what an worthless impediment we were to the nation I'm quite certain I would have fired on my own clan by pure reflexes alone. But such is the effect that greatness has on the unworthy. Have you considered giving all your commands through a less-intimidating third party? Someone who licks your boot and aspires to be like you and fight your fights for you but just doesn't quite have the... how can I put this delicately... raw materials to build to such heights? Perhaps someone relatively harmless and possessing the intimidation of a teddy bear - like Barbancourt or Vllad? Then your group can rock those fleet ships without having to worry about them screwing things up? Just a thought. Now, I'm sure you have more wisdom to dispense. And when someone can say something better than I can - and you can, no doubt - I let them.

I have answers for both. 1. I never said hate. I said anyone who had written that many obviously didn't have a problem with attention. And probably seeks it out like moths to a flame. Kind of how the responses have flowed in over the TEN minutes I stepped away. You can obviously relate to that mindset. A chance for some Slamz-level attention brought you running, didn't it?! 2. Your cabin-girl's bedside table.

Oh, I assure you that you haven't. I'm afraid that, as in pretty much every other case, you are (and were) dead wrong. I do want to clear the air a bit though, so I'll be breaking character for a couple minutes. Bear with me. First - anyone who has almost 1600 forums posts obviously doesn't have much of a problem with attention. Seriously, neither of us will ever love Slamz as much as he loves himself. He is one of the most shameless self-promoters in this game, and that is saying something. I simply find it deliciously entertaining to illustrate through sarcasm and irony how ridiculous his ego, attention-seeking, and all around sour disposition are. And besides, I have to do something while we sail around and take back our former territories uncontested. Second - I didn't use my papers that night. I waited until I had physically moved away from the nation of France. You can't use them unless you are in a free port anyways. I thought your little band of renegades had enough nation flipping experience among yourselves to know that? And the only thing that beat us in the race to flee that port battle were the hardcore gangsta PVPers who you sail with. Third, we replaced every one of those ships twice over before that screenshot was even posted. Now that you're all practically homeless, a few defeats or bad calls and you'll all be back in basic cutters or NPC ships. Be careful out there. Now, if you don't mind, I am already five minutes late praying to Slamz' Conan picture on my van, and you of all people know what he's like if he doesn't have enough attention. Let's talk again later.

Everything is a game if you look at it the right way. Unless your name is Slamz. He doesn't play games. And it's actually a black van. With a picture of Slamz's Conan profile face on it. The coolest thing is that the van was able to fly after I applied the picture to it.

That HAS to be an altered photo. There is no way any of you other scrubs would even have gotten an assist if Slamz was really in that group. And I know what you're going to say - "Slamz held back to give those DICS a sporting chance, and yada, yada, yada..." Impossible. Slamz NEVER dials it down, self esteem of his shipmates be damned! He has a reputation to maintain as the greatest naval PVPer who has ever lived after all. Show us the REAL picture guys. I call BS.

Hi Slamz! How's my favorite NA role model doing!? What's that? Still angry as ever you say? Wow, never would have guessed. You are just what every nation needs the least - someone who excels at making every single aspect of the game about them. Seriously, I can't believe you have over 1500 forums posts. And not a single one with anything but threats, smack talking, and whatever insanity this battle plan above is. You have shown nothing but contempt for so many other players, but you have the unshakeable expectation to think that they will still have your back because of a flag or "treaty". Did you actually think after weeks of trash-talking ICS and then turning tail after Santa Marta and leaving us in the fight when we wouldn't get in your TS or follow your orders would garner you further support? On the contrary, EVERY interaction of mine with players from CCCP has been respectful and as far as I can tell, they are some of the only ones who have always been straight with my clan. The don't talk trash, they don't abandon me in a fight, and they certainly don't run down any NA play style. Put your hand over your mouth and think about that for a second. Or just get angry and add another notch to your forum PVP gun belt. You'll still be my NA best buddy and a model of pvp-leetness to which I can only aspire. P.S. A little bird told me you have a couple port battles soon. Better hurry back, now.